It was days like this. Days full of drizzly rain. The kind where the Sun never wakes. Wet cold seeps into your bones. Days energy and modivation are nowhere to be found.
All she wanted was to be snuggled up close to someone she loved, reading a book with a hot cup of something-or-other.
She did exactly that with her kids from time to time. Especially around Christmas, but, moments passed differently when shared with a partner.
There’s nothing better than finding that awkward, yet somehow comfortable position. Intwined in each other, but still separate.
A cup warming her hands.
The smell of a paperback book.
The ink stamped on the page.
The heartbeat and warmth of a loved one lying close.
Both lost in their own little worlds. Absorbed in whatever book they had chosen.
Pausing occasionally to share a funny tidbit or a thought with the other.
Fully enjoying themselves in a relaxed quiet way, like a fall leaf floating down onto a pond at the end of October.
A slow peaceful time. when the world’s weight shifted off her shoulders just a bit.
There were always a thousand things to do. Twenty places to go, and five more errands to run.
She knew the feeling all too well. Her brain kept her pointedly aware nearly every moment.
I guess that is one of the reasons why it was so important to her to be able to have those moments with those she cared about.
When you’re close enough to someone that you can have the real, unbridled, raw, honest moments.
You feel like it’s safe to share everything.
The pain, the anger, the joy, the fear the laughter, the tears and everything in between.
When those feelings are disrupted..
When everything you thought it was pops like sleet lashing the ground.
When it goes on like that, for days, for weeks, for months.
When the torent of negativity will not ease it grip and all you can think is, ‘how did it come to this?’
That is the time to put your money where your mouth is.
It was in those moments she doubled down.
He didn’t.
He fought like a living thing trying to break free of a poacher’s net.
Flailing, seething, lunging, playing nice, gnashing, clawing, crying, desperate to make, the net, that thing he can’t understand, right.
Longing to run again.
Gliding over the Earth.
Wanting nothing but to experience everything it was when life as they knew it, began.
My life, Now. 